A dream? or a tale?

I was thinking of what to write and suddenly came to my mind a memory about a dream. So, I decided to share it with you as a summary of that long tale in my dream.

When I was in sixth grade and I was twelve years old, I had a dream that was very strange and ridiculous. I just don´t know why I was dreaming that and it is a dream that since that day I could remember very well. I don´t know why the things that you wish to remember with all the details in your mind are sometimes not exactly the ones that you want to remember, because I remember very very well that dream. Well, it is a kind of tale about the typical stepmother that is really mad with their stepchildren.

 

Well, all start seeing a man that had a little girl of almost five years. The man was living without a wife and the girl without a mother, because their loved being died. So then, many years after that had passed the man met a beautiful woman, but he didn´t know that was a witch. They got married, but the woman was not kind with the little girl, because she didn´t want to share the love of the man she loved.

Few days after the woman went to live with the man and the girl. The woman get really angry for the greatest attention for the little girl and not to her. In that moment, the woman covered of darkness the little hometown where they lived, the little hometown was surrounded of trees and all the place became gray as it was full of ashes around, up and down; the place was as scariest as the woman with the dark dress ruining the place. The man saw the girl with a heavy heart, he didn´t know-he was shocked. While, the woman took the little girl and locked her in a jail made of lianas of climbing tropical vines. When doing that, the man was really worried of what could the woman do at the girl-probably kill her. So he decided to act as if nothing had passed and to avoid see the little girl, because he knew something worst could be done.

Meanwhile, the little girl was in the jail. She was remembering at her mother and all the love she gave to her, because she was remembering the cute and lovely that her mother was. When doing that, she remembered one story that her mother used to tell her and that story was a kind of what she was living at that moment. Her mother told her a story to fight with love and and find a wish that could help to establish peace for everybody, the key was in finding a sparkled fruit of a big and beautiful tree that satisfy the wish a person could have sincerely. When she realized that probably that tree could be a exit to have the life she had lost. She really wanted to go out and started to push  and kick the jail while her father arrived to carry her to another place. Getting away, the little girl told her father what she was planning to do. At first, her father think that was only fantasy of the story of her mother, but when he saw her, the hopeful eyes of the girl made him to go in searching the big and beautiful tree with that lightly and sparkled fruit. They were in a forest, surrounded of trees around them with a cloudy and fresh weather. So, when they were in the middle of the dark forest with the most minimal lightning of sun that you could imagine, they saw the biggest tree in that forest that was a very leafy one. The man only could see the big tree, but the little girl could see the sparkling fruit in the middle of the tree. When the girl said: Do you believe now? To her father. The man said that it was a beautiful tree. So, the girl understood that he was not able to see that sparkled fruit, because, he did´nt believe the same as he. She said to her father:  - I will climb that tree and will save you! I will save us!

The man did nothing against the idea of climbing that tree, because as a breeze the spirit of the tree said that she could do it. However, he was dying seeing his little girl climbing that enormous tree. Then, the girl stop just in the middle of the tree and when she took the fruit, her father was able to see it. So, swiftly the girl was in the arms of her father with the sun shining the most as you can imagine and the place took a beautiful color around them with beautiful flowers. That beautiful flowers that only in that dream could see, because I´m twenty years old and I´v never see that type of flowers in real life.

After that, I wake up with my heart beating rapidly. I was just thinking about that dream.   

- How come? I was thinking and laughing at myself ( during the entire day).

I just don´t know why I´m still remembering so well a blockhead dream like that.

I was not part of the dream, but I was a viewer. I really felt as if I was seeing a production of theater based in a tale. However, I didn´t know what passed with the stepmother of the little girl... or where the  man and little girl go to live?

My professor in kinder-garden!

 “A,B,C,D...”

I was seven years old when I went to the school. Many months before, when my mother said I could go to school. I started to think about it. It was a big feeling inside my heart. My heart was full of happiness and I really wanted to say to all my friends, my neighbors, at every person I found in the street that I was prepared to go to school.

Even though I wanted to go at Kinder-garden during my five years old, I did not go. I saw all the kids that were going to kinder-garden and I was excited to go with them, there were kids being carried by their mom, holding the hand of his or her little girl or boy to go there. But, I never assisted at one of the class in kinder-garden as my sister, Amanda. My mom said she had the opportunity to go at kinder-garden, but in those days in 2001, there were some earthquakes that made her gave up. Though, my mom went at the school all the days at early morning to leave her there, she didn´t like to go because she was afraid of the earthquakes. I think about me at my five years old within the same situation. Could I gave up to the thing I wished to have at five years old?

I did not go to the school at my five years old, but my brother was as my personal kinder-garden´s professor. My mom didn´t have time to teach me, but she bought me a book called : “Victoria” to learn reading. I really love to see the pictures of that book. It is a beautiful memory in my learning process, I´d never suffered of “chancletazos” or the frustration of seeing the belt in front of me, because my brother was really kind with me, with the enough patient to bear me.

 I was an extrovert kid, but my brother was very patient with me. I really love it. He started to teach me the vowels and after that the alphabet. I remember his creative way of teaching me all the vowels and the alphabet. When learning I putted all my effort to learn, I really enjoyed the mornings writing my name or reading with my brother next to me. After the vowels and the alphabet, I started my first lesson saying:- “ma, me, mi, mo, mu...”. It took many months and was not easy to combine all the vowels with the letters of the alphabet I was learning, sometimes I got confused with all those letters in my mind. When finishing the Victoria´s book, came the "Tío Nacho´s book". After all, I was ready to read and write. I started to red whatever I found to read, newspaper, Avon´s magazines ( I was curious of knowing what was written below or above the pictures and the products that appeared in every section). I didn´t understand nothing about the label facts in the products, nevertheless I was always reading that. I think my oldest sister noticed that, because a week after saw me lifting a page of newspaper to read, she bought me a collection of story tales called: “El tío coyote”, I really loved to read that book at every moment. When reading it, I was laughing about the craziest jokes described on the book. So, when the time to go to school arrived I was prepared for that waiting time thank my brother. Even tough he is not a professor, I think the vocation is in his own and he was an amazing amateur professor to me.

Do you want to climb the tree?

 When I was a little girl of five years, I was an imparable kid.

I really loved to climb trees and there was not a tree that I have been climbing around my house.

In my house there are different types of fruit and ornamental trees and many times ago when I was a little girl the panorama was the same. My house was surrounded by trees, in front and at the sides of my house, Almost of them were fruit trees. So, I always climbed to catch a fruit ( when my mom was not seeing me). I really loved to stay in the tree eating my fruit and I just don´t know why the fruit had a better flavor being eaten there.

My mom did not like see me climbing trees. Even though, I really love my mom, I was a kid and I did not care about what she said about climbing trees, because she said almost of the time that I could fell down a whatever moment, having a big hurt in whatever part of my body or she said that I could fell and have some broken bone. So, when my mother saw me coming down to the tree, she said: - “You could fell down in a stone and that could cause your death, please don´t climb there anymore”- “¡Erika! ¡Pay me attention!”. However, I didn´t care about it until that day. When I was felling down of an avocado tree.

I remember that was very early in the morning, my mom was cooking the breakfast when her little girl was felling down. I do not remember the specific time, but I was ready to begin the new day, when the first thing that came to my mind was to ascend the unique avocado tree that was back to the house, it was small in comparison with the others trees, but the difference was that hadn´t branches to climb easily. It was a challenge for me, because I had climbed all the trees in my house except that avocado tree. The big challenge started, while climbing the tree. I was a little afraid and I was thinking of the ideas of my mom about the trees that if a fell down my mom will be angry, or what will be happening if I fell and broke one of my bones or just fell in a stone and die, !die! !No!

I was thinking and thinking the worst, when I fell down. That was so fast, but the pain is still a marked in my tongue. Even though, I really wanted to shout as much as I can, I couldn´t. So, while felling, I did not yell and I only closed my mouth. Come on, I don´t know why I closed my mouth, because when I did that, my tongue was enrolled to my teeth and the teeth were so riveted to my tongue that when I fell in the ground, my mouth was full of blood, but I didn´t told that at my mom, because I was afraid to see my mother bothered with me about that. I didn´t have time to cry, because my mom was calling me to eat.

It was not a really big wound that my teeth had caused, but I saw the blood and I was thinking the worst. I immediately wiped the tears in my cheeks with my hands and my blooded mouth with my blouse. So, I hurried up to change my blooded blouse while my mom called me again and I ran to wash my hands and rinse out my mouth. When I came to the table, my mom was seeing me. She saw me and I felt like she was knowing all I did it, but that was only my imagination and my culpable thought of saying my mom what was happening. She knows me very well and noticed that something was going on, but she did not ask nothing, because I was eating.

When I was eating, the first thing I did was to drink coffee. The warm coffee went into my injury and it really hurt me. So, with my eyes tightly closed I unconsciously shout: - OUCH! My mom did only see me with the corner of her eyes. So then, when eating I only said Ouch! inside of my feelings and said nothing.

 

After eating, my mom was ready to get answers. She asked what was happening with my mouth and why I was scared to show her my mouth. I said that my mouth was very well. My mom saw me again and asked me to open my mouth. I did say nothing and I was thinking that all the effort to not shout meanwhile I was eating was completely not worth it. 

My mom opened my mouth and saw my little, but deep injury in my tongue. Well, I told my mom what had happened and I showed her my blooded blouse. My mom was worried about it, she wanted to go to the hospital and of course I didn´t want to go. So, I said to my mom that was very little, but we could go tomorrow to the doctor. My mom and dad agreed to go the next day. 

I cried a lot that night. I didn´t want to go to the hospital, it was an scared idea for me. So, I prayed to God. I did´nt exactly said:- “Goodness, I´m here again” to God. But, I prayed with the heart on my hands and with all the hopelessness in my mind.

Even though, I was not the best girl in the planet, God answered me. As a result of that night, the next day the profound and hurting injury in my tongue was already closed and I didn´t feel any grief about it.

 

After that happened, I didn´t climb any tree until my eleven years old. Six years later, I comprehend that if I want to climb a tree. I just have to do it and don´t think about what is going to happen, because if I will try something new it is better to do the things and don´t put me limitations in mind before they happen. If I hadn´t thought about what my mommy said me maybe I couldn´t fell down or maybe I just fell down trying to do my best and not being scared about the result. However, I had not a major problem with that injury, but was a big lesson for me.

Now I say:

 

 Taking care of my grandparents!

 

Every Saturday morning I wake up very early at 6:00 Am with the alarm ringing that is a new day to live and smile as brilliant as the sun and the ringing sound that remind me to go to my grandparent's house.I go to my grandparent's house and it takes me almost thirty minutes to arrive there. All the Saturdays has been the same routine since three years ago and it is the same as now in 2020, "the best years of all". (Okay no)

Nowadays the entire world is  living a difficult situation with the pandemic and the important thing is to stay at home and not go out if it is not necessary in order to stay safe and taking care of ourselves; however,  my grandparents need a person who takes care of them. As a result, since many years ago my mom and my aunts had organized a single day looking after of them during the week and weekend, the whole day and night, "24/7".

Besides, three years ago in 2017  seeing that there are not enough sons and daughters. I decided to participate in this great labor of helping to my grandparents' care.  I take care of them only Saturdays. It is because I decided the day: "Saturday" in the organized schedule that my aunts and uncles have. While in 2018, I started to study in the University of El Salvador (UES) and all my classes had been only during the week and not on Saturdays nor Sunday. So that, I  really thought that was a great idea had took the Saturday days. Even though, nowadays studying online implies more work and time being spent advancing with my homeworks,including my Sundays, I´m always spending my Saturdays with my grandparents.

The whole day with my grandparents is not as simple as saying it! 

My grandpa and grandma has different illness and both need affection and good treatment. My grandpa is 86, his name is Catarino and let me say that  he is in a better condition and more patience than my grandma, but both has different difficulties. My grandpa has his eyes good, he can move her body by himself while with his ears; he surely can't hear you very well. While talking, people need to say the things with patient and carefully when staying near to him and if someone is talking to him far away the person needs to loud the tone of voice to be listened by him.

 My grandma is 84, her name is Marta, she is not very patient and the things she says has to do it rapidly. So, people need to pay careful attention to her needs, the preferences she has (including her favorite place to stay sitting down in the wheelchair) and the dislikes she has when eating something, it is very important to cook the food she likes.She can't move her by herself. She needs to be moved by another person, because has walking difficulties. It is difficult to give her a shower, to go to the bathroom with her (because she heat the pampers), it is also difficult to move her to her wheelchair or to her bed (her weight is more than mine). However, when staying there I try to give my best, have a lot of patience and give at them my attention like a nurse with two kids.